The Brer Witch Project
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: The Hitchhiking Ghosts and Brer Rabbit head out to Tom Sawyer's Island to film a mockumentary. Meanwhile, the Boothill Boys join forces with Brer Fox and Brer Bear to finally capture their rivals in one crazy, crazy night.
1. Time to Film

It was nearing dusk in Liberty Square. Outside the Haunted Mansion perched two large vultures. Sneaky-looking with tophats, they were the villainous Boothill Boys, always trying to get a meal out of the dead.

Unlike, other vultures, however, they did not eat roadkill or carcasses, it was too hard to find. Instead, they preferred to eat ghosts...or at least attempt to do so. No one was sure if they had ever accomplished it, but the birds seemed to think they had, once, which was good enough for everyone else.

"Straws ready?" whispered one of them.

"They're always ready," replied the second, whipping out a pair of cartoon-esque straws.

"Let's go in there and suck," said the first one.

"You just ruined it right there."

As a group of guests entered, the lurking vultures eagerly swooped in and attempted to blend in in the dim light.

"Where are they?" wondered one of the Boothills.

"Everyone knows there aren't any ghosts in the foyer, idiot!" snapped the other. "We have to at least wait for the Doombuggies."

"Well, excuse me, Disney dork."

"I am NOT a dork!"

A kid next to them poked one of the birds. "Aren't you supposed to be on Splash Mountain right now?" he asked them.

"We're taking a break," the first Boothill said quickly, not wanting to be noticed.

"A lunch break," the second one added, in a sinister voice.

"But it's almost dinnertime," the kid pointed out.

The Boothill Boys were getting fed up at this point. "Then we're taking a dinner break! Don't take things so literally, kid!"

"What are you going to eat?" the kid asked.

The first Boothill smiled, not being able to hold back a sinister joke. "Let's just say YOU'VE got nothing to worry about unless you plan on dying in the next eight minutes."

"Ghosts are more in our taste," explained the second.

"That's all I needed to hear," said the kid, his voice sounding strangely deeper. The first Boothill cracked up. "What, you're going to report us?"

"Ooh, he'll go to Town Hall!" cackled the second one. "I'm terrified! No one's gonna believe you!"

When the vultures looked up, they saw, to their shock, that the kid wasn't a little boy anymore. He had morphed into the Ghost Host himself, George Gracy! "Welcome, foolish mortals!"

With a swift kick, the Boothills were sent flying out of the mansion into the cemetery outside. They angrily dusted themselves off and were about to fly away...when several decaying hands reached out of the dirt and dragged them under.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

The few seconds the Boothill Boys experienced below were sheer terror, and cannot be accurately summed up verbally. But when the vultures frantically dug their way to the surface (the amused corpses were more than happy to let such an entertaining duo go), their only thought was to get home and fast!

Flying faster than they ever had before, the Boothill Boys fluttered back to Splash Mountain, through the queue, the loading area, around the exterior, through the happy land of "Zip-a-doo-dah," through the Laughing Place (where they were sure everyone was laughing at THEM) and finally back to their perches near the final lift.

"I think we lost them," panted the first vulture.

The second one checked his leg. "Oh dear...I seem to have a souvenir." Grinning slightly, he pointed to a dead arm that was still clinging to him. Hungry, the Boothill Boys squabbled over the arm, only for it to briefly come "to life," slap them both, and drop into a log below, full of startled guests.

"That was humiliating," moaned the second Boothill Boy.

"Cheer up," said the other one, spying something near the cave's edge.

There's a fire burning up on Chick-a-Pin Hill. You know what that means..."

"It means that those morons are about to screw up more than we ever could!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morons here were Brer Fox and Brer Bear. Somehow, they had captured Brer Rabbit and had him tied up, ready to eat him. This was a familiar sight, and no one was alarmed. After all, Brer Rabbit always escaped.

Brer Fox eagerly prodded Brer Rabbit with a fork. "Well, Brer Rabbit, I thinks I'se gonna roast ya!"

"Go ahead, Brer Fox," Brer Rabbit said, with much mock terror, "roast me if you likes, but please don't fling me in dat Briar Patch!"

Brer Bear looked up. "Dat, uh, dat..."

"...sounds familiar, ain't it?" laughed Brer Fox. "We ain't fallin' fo' dat trick again, is we, Brer Bear?"

"No, uh, we's too smart for dat."

Brer Fox agreed. "Dat we is! You tries dat every time, and we knows it well!"

Brer Rabbit waited a second, and then calmly repeated, "Please don't fling me in dat Briar Patch."

Acting as if he had never heard of the idea, Brer Fox grabbed Brer Rabbit and dashed a foot over to the opening of the cave. "Briar Patch! I'se glad I thought o' dat!"

"I jes' wanna knock his head clean off!" Brer Bear grabbed his club and headed over as well.

Grinning, Brer Fox threw Brer Rabbit over the edge, just as a log full of guests went over at the same time. Brer Rabbit landed with a "SPLUNCH" (a splashy sort of crunch) and called out, "I'm done fo'!"

Of course, Brer Rabbit had been "Born an' bred in a briar patch," and snuck off, laughing to himself, no worse for the wear.

Brer Fox stood there for a few moments, silently staring down at the flume. Finally, he did a massive double-take. "WHAT DID I JUST DO?!"

"You fell for the same old trick," said a sly voice behind him. Brer Fox turned around to see that the Boothill Boys had joined Brer Bear at the table.

"I tol' you an' I tol' you we shouldda knocked his head clean off," Brer Bear insisted.

"Now, look at dis!" moaned Brer Fox, pacing frantically. "Look at dis, dis won't do! I got supper all sets up an' nothin' to eat! What we gonna eat, Brer Bear?"

"You know," mumbled Brer Bear, "we could just..."

Not waiting to hear what his only friend had to say, Brer Fox, with lightning speed, grabbed the Boothill Boys. "I'se in the mood fo' chicken, anyhow!"

"We're vultures and you know it!" gagged one of the vultures, now a little scared.

Hunger had taken over the fox. "All tastes the same once you gets cooked long enough!" Brer Fox held the birds over a boiling pot when he was suddenly conked in the head by Brer Bear.

"NOW LOOK!" growled the bear, finally getting everyone's attention. He lowered his voice. "De day ain't over yet. We still has a chance at ketchin' Brer Rabbit, we just gotta follow him home, dat's all."

Brer Fox sprang up. "Of course, of course, great idea I had! We just has to follow him home an' den we'll catch him again! An' DIS time, he won't get away!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over by his Briar Patch, Brer Rabbit was getting ready to leave, when Mr. Bluebird fluttered over. "Where ya headed tonight?"

"De Hitchhiking Ghosts an' I are finally collaber-atin' our brains to make de bes' documentary ever! Right on Tom Sawyer Island! It'll rock de cinemas!"

(To the tune of "When the Sun Goes Down In the South" from _Big River_)

_**When de sun goes down on de park**_

_**An' a few ghosts 'n rodents is bored**_

_**We'll film movie out on de island**_

_**Worthy of an Oscar award**_

_**When de moonlight is shinin' down**_

_**And de last guests have gone out de gate**_

_**Den down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

_**De suspense, why, none of us can wait**_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over at the Haunted Mansion, Ezra, Phineas, and Gus were getting ready as well.

Ezra: _**Well, anybody wonderin' what they're going to see**_

Phineas: _**Gonna have to wait till we put up on Youtube**_

Gus: _**Anybody wonderin' what's goin' on**_

Ezra: _**All we say is with luck there'll be a few boobs**_

Hitchhiking Ghosts: _**When the moonlight is shinin' down**_

_**And the last guests have gone out the gate**_

_**Then, down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

_**The suspense, why, none of us can wait**_

"Boys," grinned Ezra, "this may be our finest hour."

"Finer than the time we heard the New Japan Philharmonic played an hour-long suite of the songs from the _Land Before Time _sequels?" asked Phineas.

"MUCH finer. Everyone loved the _Blair Witch Project_, and those who didn't will be taken out by Gus."

"Sweet," said Gus.

"And everyone loves Disney, too," continued Ezra, "so combining them would be ULTIMATE!"

"Is this like 'Ultimate Frisbee'?" quivered Phineas. "Because I never really liked that game."

"Wimp," grumbled Gus.

"I TOOK A FRISBEE TO THE FACE!"

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Just repress the memories."

"But it happened this morning."

"Aw, quit spazzing and start singing!" insisted Ezra.

Ezra and Phineas: _**When the sun goes down in the park**_

_**When any sane person would sleep**_

_**We've got a mission to do, ya see**_

_**The competition's gonna lie in a heap**_

Gus: _**When the moonlight is shinin' down**_

_**And the last guests have gone out the gate**_

Hitchhiking Ghosts: _**Then, down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

_**The suspense, why, none of us can wait**_

Unbeknownst to the ghosts, T.R. Chula, the Mansion's resident spider, was listening outside. "Wow! I just loooooooooove passing off a fraud as the real thing! Those ghosts had better let this spider help 'em out!"

Phineas looked out the window. "Hey, here comes Brer Rabbit! Let's go!"

Gus: _**When the darkness falls on the park**_

(Brer Rabbit: _**Darkness falls on de park**_)

_**And the firework magic has ceased**_

(Brer Rabbit: _**Firework magic has ceased**_)

_**We're gonna sing and dance and paint the park red**_

Ezra and Phineas: _**Or maybe purple at least**_

Chula crawled over and tried to join in as well.

Chula: _**When the moonlight is shinin' down**_

_**And the last guests have gone out the gate**_

The Hitchhiking Ghosts didn't notice the extra singer and trampled him.

Hitchhiking Ghosts: _**Then, down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

Brer Rabbit and Hitchhiking Ghosts: _**The suspense, why, none of us can wait**_

Brer Rabbit: _**Well, anybody wonderin' what dey're going to see**_

Phineas: _**Gonna have to wait till we put up on Youtube**_

Gus:_** Anybody wonderin' what's goin' on**_

Ezra: _**All we say is with luck there'll be a few boobs**_

Brer Rabbit: _**When de moonlight is shinin' down**_

_**And de last guests have gone out de gate**_

_**Den, down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

Hitchhiking Ghosts: _**The suspense, why, none of us can wait**_

Soon, the four were on a raft and heading down to the island, ready for anything.

All: _**When the sun goes down in the park**_

_**When any sane person would sleep**_

_**We've got a mission for us, ya see**_

_**The competition's gonna lie in a heap**_

_**When the moonlight is shinin' down**_

_**And the last guests have gone out the gate**_

_**Then, down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

_**The suspense, why, none of us can wait**_

_**Then, down to Tom Sawyer's we're all gonna run**_

_**The suspense, why, none of us can wait!**_

The Boothill Boys watched their prey sailing away, singing and dancing. "They're going to be all alone on that island, aren't they? Cut off, isolated..."

"The perfect targets!" crowed the second vulture.

"We gots to use dis chance to catch dem!" cried Brer Fox. "I don't knows when we'll gets another one!"

"Yeah, uh," mumbled Brer Bear, "we gotta go..."

"We gotta go right now!" cried Brer Fox. "Who's wid me?"

"Grab the emergency straws," said one of the Boothill Boys. The hunt was on.

* * *

The original title was "The Blair Rabbit Project," not nearly as catchy.

There's actually a long backstory behind this one. It was going to start out as a "Calvin at Camp" story, with Jason as Huck and Marcus as Jim. Then, worried about how offensive some people might take it, or about how seriously I could take myself, I decided to make it a loose parody, where neither boy was a slave, and both were out for adventure. Calvin and Hobbes would have doubled up as Tom Sawyer, and the King and Duke would have been Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy. They would also be followed around by a phantom barrel (inspired by a ghost story featured in the book), which would always cause them bad luck. Near the end, they would open the barrel, to find it was merely filled with pickles. Later, villains (whomever they would have been, chasing them for money they found in a cave) would chase them and the pickles would float downstream, causing the antagonists bad luck themselves, saving the day.

Yes, I'm serious.

Seeing as this would be a disaster on wheels (or on a raft, whatever), I decided to change it to a Disney story with Brer Rabbit as Jim and the Hitchhiking Ghosts as the flat-out bad guys for a change, as the King and Duke.

Well, I couldn't think of a good Huck, for one thing, and I just didn't think it would work. So all that's left of the parody is the Ghosts and Brer Rabbit on a raft, singing "Sun Goes Down in the South."

That's called progress. I think.


	2. Ambush on the Island

Ezra floated slowly through the island, filming everything he could find. The whole place was actually looking pretty creepy at dusk. "Time for a little exposition. Narrate, you two!"

"Okay," narrated Phineas, "we're walking, and there are some trees..."

"I found a stick," said Gus.

"...Gus found a stick..."

Ezra quickly turned the camera off. "Hold on a second! We're not gonna use our real names, here! Brer Rabbit is Ezra, Gus is Phineas, Phineas is Brer Rabbit and I'm Gurgi."

"How come there's no Gus?" complained Gus.

"Dis stick can be Gus!" suggested Brer Rabbit.

"Cool."

"What're we makin' dis movie about, anyway?" asked Brer Rabbit.

Ezra grinned. "Glad you asked that! Well, we go into the woods, looking for a witch, we scream, we drop the camera, hide out for a month or two, and people will interpret it as fact."

"Dat's crazy!"

"IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE!" chorused the ghosts.

Assuming they knew what they were talking about, Brer Rabbit decided to go along with it. "Well, let's get started! Now, I thinks de best place to start is by de edge, near de river. Dat way, it looks like you'se been abandoned."

"Or shipwrecked!" suggested Phineas.

"Marooned!" cried Gus.

"We could do all three," said Ezra. "And the rest of the crew's gone insane, and they're hiding around the island, ready to kill and eat us! In addition to the witch."

In the shrubbery nearby, sat the four villains, who had stolen their own raft.

"Oh, dat's so true!" Brer Fox chuckled to himself. "Ain't dat true, Brer Bear? Can't you jes' feel de iron-ee?"

"Yeah, uh..." mumbled the bear, before being cut off by his partner.

"Shut up! You want dem to hear us?"

"This is the stupidest movie idea I've ever heard," muttered one of the Boothill Boys.

Chula crawled over. "I don't know, sounds interesting. The kinda thing I could just cuddle up on a web and watch."

"What the heck are YOU doing here?" snapped the other Boothill Boy.

"Well, they left me out. Really hurt my feelings. So I figure I'll hang out with you guys, catch them, and TEACH THEM A LESSON! And I brought marshmallows, too."

Seconds later, Chula found himself being tossed deeper into the woods. "EEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Brer Rabbit and the ghosts, meanwhile, had heard the entire conversation. "They should really keep their voices down, you know," whispered Ezra.

"All four o' dem?" gasped Brer Rabbit. "I has trouble handlin' two at a time! But four is twice as bad!"

"Oh, relax," said Phineas. "If we get in too deep, we can always fly away."

"I guess dat's true, Phinny."

"No, I'm supposed to be Brer Rabbit, remember?"

"Oh yeah..."

Suddenly, out from the bushed popped Brer Fox, who swiftly grabbed the startled rabbit. "Gotcha, Brer Rabbit! Dis time, you'se mine!"

Brer Rabbit regained himself and calmly shook his head. "Sorry, but I ain't Brer Rabbit."

"You ain't?" said Brer Bear, lumbering over.

Ezra shook his head. "Nope, he's not."

"I'se Ezra de ghost."

"I'm Phineas," said Gus.

"I'm Gurgi," said Ezra.

"I'm Brer Rabbit," Phineas was proudest of all.

Brer Bear immediately sprang on the ghost. "I got him, Brer Fox!"

Brer Fox took a good, long, look at Phineas. "Dat ain't Brer Rabbit, dere ain't no meat on him!"

Gus waved his counterpart at the villains. "Want Gus? It's a stick."

Phineas went transparent and slipped through Brer Bear's hands. "Now, I'm sure that you can both sort this whole thing out, but we're rather busy tonight."

Suddenly, the Boothill Boys fluttered out, straws in hand. "Get them!" shouted the first one.

"Let's suck!" shouted the second.

The first vulture screeched to a halt and groaned. "Okay, you ruined it for the second time."

Catching Phineas off-guard, the birds stuck the straw through the ghost's chest and prepared to suck him up. Before they could, Brer Bear smashed them over the head with his club. "Hey, we said WE was gonna eat Brer Rabbit!"

"Yeah," said Brer Fox, "stick wid de deal!"

Leaving the villains to argue, Brer Rabbit and the ghosts ran for it. Ezra tossed the stick as they escaped. "You can keep Gus, if you want!"

Gus angrily backtracked to reclaim his stick. "We're not leaving him behind!"

As Gus grabbed the stick, he felt odd for a second. He looked up to realize that the Boothill Boys had stuck a straw in his head! "LAY OFF!" With a swing of his chain, the Boothills were on the ground, unconcious.

As the four heros made their way into the woods, Brer Rabbit nervously looked back at the bickering villains. "Ain't you worried dey're gonna suck you wid deir straws?"

Ezra laughed. "Ah, they' couldn't suck a (_NOTE: Ezra's analogy has been deleted, deemed too vulgar for the Internet)_"

"He's got a point," muttered Gus.

"Eww," said a disgusted Phineas.

"See?" grinned Ezra. "We're fine. Think of this as an adventure."

"Well," admitted Brer Rabbit, "I do loves adventures."

"That's the spirit!"

(To the tune of "The Girl I Left Behind" from _Fievel Goes West_)

Ezra: _**If there's one thing I love most**_

_**It'd have to be adventure**_

_**Flying round up in the sky**_

_**Or deep below in trenchers**_

_**Now we are all on the run**_

_**And I feel like Tom Sawyer**_

_**And if this thing gets us sued**_

_**I'll double as our lawyer**_

_**But still, we gotta film**_

_**Let's keep running, come on!**_

_**What this night is gonna prove**_

_**Is that our brains will beat brawn**_

_**Through the woods, deeper we tramp**_

_**Right into the dark plain**_

_**I can only hope we don't**_

_**Really piss off Mark Twain,**_

_**Mark Twain, Mark Twain!**_

Chula waited down the path, making a fake sign. "I'll show 'em all not to let Chula come along! With this fake detour sign, they'll all get lost in the woods and CHULA WILL WIN!"

The spider ducked into the bushes and watched the ghosts and rabbit dash through the fake detour, followed by the villains. Apparently, Chula had found a real detour.

"Aw, for the love of..."

Phineas: _**I don't know my way around**_

_**I really hope you guys do**_

_**If this thing really gets made**_

_**I won't believe my eyes, too**_

Gus: _**I'm just in it for the thrill**_

_**And conking stupid critters**_

_**If we stop at Polly's Dock**_

_**I'm gonna get some fritters**_

Brer Rabbit: _**Well, I won't forgive you**_

_**If I don't live through**_

_**De adventure we have tonight**_

Ezra: _**Better find a place to film**_

Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit: _**And finish up this thingy**_

Ezra: _**The girls will flock to us, then**_

Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit: _**Just hope they're not too clingy, clingy, clingy**_

Chula, meanwhile, was working on another trap. He had constructed a huge web (with the words "What a pig" embodied in it, for some reason), and was waiting for his prey to fall into it.

"Why, I do believe I've outdone myself."

His victims were approaching! They were running fast! They...ran right by the web.

"Oh, you little (_NOTE: Chula's insult has been deleted, deemed too stupid for the Internet)_"

Ezra: _**So, are you ready for some fun?**_

Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit: _**Why, naturally, you know us**_

_**And when we're done, we're gonna cheer**_

_**And we'll be cheering "GO US!"**_

_**Adventure time**_

_**Adventure time**_

_**Adventure time**_

_**Adventure time!**_

All: _**We're gonna have an adventure**_

_**Tonight, tonight, tonight, that's right**_

_**All right!**_

"Now what?" Brer Rabbit asked after a moment.

"Huh?" Ezra thought for a second. "Oh yeah, we got so caught up in a song about filming, we forgot we actually had to start! Happens a lot. Well, now...I think we should find a creepy place to film and get started."

The ghosts and rabbit headed off through the woods to find whatever they could. Little did they realize that the Boothill Boys were glaring down at them at that very moment from up in a tree. The vultures had ditched Brer Fox and Brer Bear, after realizing that the two critters were doing nothing but slowing them down.

"So what do we do now?" asked the first one. "It's not like we can corner them, because they'll just fly away like last time."

"But what if they couldn't?" the other one had an idea.

"What do you mean?"

"Follow me. We're going back to the mansion...and this time, it's not for food."


	3. Madame Leota

"The old mill!" breathed Ezra in awe. "This place is perfect to film!"

The group stepped into the island's mill, and the sounds of the ground creaking under them echoed through the seemingly ancient and decaying building.

"How safe is this place, Ezra?" asked Phineas.

Ezra adjusted his camera. "Relax, we're at a Disney Theme Park! When has anyone EVER suffered an injury at a Disney Theme Park?"

They all burst out laughing.

"Priceless!" Brer Rabbit gasped for air.

"I caused half the injuries!" Gus said, proudly displaying his chain.

Suddenly, Brer Fox and Brer Bear jumped out with a loud "YAAAAHHHH!!!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed the surprised Ezra, Phineas, Gus, and Brer Rabbit.

Not expecting that, Brer Fox and Brer Bear responded with a "WAAAAAAHHHH!" of terror.

For the next few minutes, the two groups sat there, screaming at each other (with Ezra being sure to get it all on tape).

Finally, they couldn't scream anymore. "Man," said Ezra, "that was GREAT! You guys are the best screamers ever!"

Brer Fox blushed. "Aw, shucks, t'ain't nothin'."

The ghosts and Brer Rabbit all looked at each other. They had a plan. Brer Rabbit stepped forward towards his foes. "No, really! In fact, I bets we could be usin' more o' dem screams! Wha'd you call 'em, Ezra?"

"Reactions shots!"

"Be sure to scream real loud," advised Gus.

Obeying, Brer Fox and Brer Bear started screaming for the camera.

"Good!" coached Phineas. "Now run around!"

"Just freak out!" called Ezra.

"Mo'! Mo'! Mo' terror!" urged Brer Rabbit.

Eventually, the two villains freaked out to the point of losing all control, and Brer Bear ended up beating Brer Fox over the head with his club. Repeatedly.

Ezra kept filming. "Gold."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, the Boothill Boys had somehow gotten into the Mansion again, and were sneaking through the Corridor of Doors. Unlike during the day, everything was silent. Even ghosts need sleep, after all.

"Now," the first vulture said to his partner, "resist the urge to suck up a ghost. We're about to have our fill of the three most annoying hitchhikers in the world!"

"Can't I eat a pop-up ghost or something?" complained the other one. "They're everywhere!"

"Quiet! We've made it to the Seance Room, now don't mess this up!"

"What are you two doing here?" The vultures gasped and looked up to see Little Leota.

The first Boothill Boy tried to think of something to say. "Uh...would you believe we're here to fix a light on a Christmas tree?"

"Just here for a MIDNIGHT SNACK!" the second one whipped out a straw and managed to trap the startled ghost. Just as he was sucking her up, he took a hit to the head by a flying drum.

"How DARE you enter my domain and attempt to eat my daughter?" shouted an angry Madame Leota.

The Boothill Boy nervously spat Little Leota out. "I, uh, mistook her for a pop-up ghost." This got him another thump.

"Wrong thing to say," grumbled the first Boothill Boy, who got hit as well. "Hey, I wasn't the one trying to eat your kid! We came here because we need your help!"

"Why would I help you after you attempted to suck my child through a straw?"

"You make a good point," the vulture smiled nervously, "but please hear a pair of adorable birds out!"

Little Leota rolled her eyes. "Adorable?"

"We had a plush toy made once," squeaked the second vulture. "It looked nothing like us, but still..."

"Hmmph," said Leota. "I'll hear you out. But I doubt you'll make it out of the mansion with your heads."

The vultures felt something cold behind them, but they were too afraid to turn around. If they had, they would have seen an axe-welding Emily, the ghost bride.

"Leota and I don't like each other," she said softly, before her voice rose sharply, "BUT WE ALL HATE YOU!"

"Comforting," sighed one of the vultures.

Not wanting to lose his head, the other one spoke up. "Listen, we've been stalking the Hitchhiking Ghosts..."

On those words, everything in the room surged with pain. Madame Leota howled with pain and anguish. "Don't mention their vile names!"

"We hate them almost as much as you vultures!" moaned Emily.

"Really?" smiled the first Boothill Boy. "Then we're in luck. You see, there's nothing we'd like to do more than have the trio reside permanently in our stomachs..."

"We don't know how well ghosts digest," added the other one.

"...but they always fly away when we try to catch them!"

"A real sob story," grumbled Little Leota.

The first Boothill Boy plopped himself next to Madame Leota's crystal ball and tried to look as sweet as possible. "We were wondering if you had any methods to keeping them in one place."

"Well," admitted Madame Leota, "there is one way."

A green crystal appeared in front of them. "This a special ghost-catching crystal. It is small and solid now, but when it comes into contact with the plasm of a ghost, it grows and they are trapped inside!"

"Ripe for the feasting!" smiled Little Leota.

The second Boothill Boy snatched up the crystal. "Perfect! You could make a lotta money off of these babies!"

"Take it. Enjoy."

Giggling, the vultures stated to fly off, but bumped into a suit of armor before they got far. It came to life and chased them out.

"Hey!" squawked one of the vultures. "We were leaving!"

"Watch it, jerk!"

"I almost feel bad for the Hitchhikers," mused Emily after the vultures had left. "I mean, I hate them, but they've never tried to eat us."

"Yeah," said Little Leota, "and I just found a big problem with that crystal idea."

"Oh, I'm aware of the problem," said Madame Leota. "That's why this will all be so amusing. Let's watch."

Leota's face turned into the image of Tom Sawyer's Island. Her daughter and Emily gathered around to see what would happen next.


	4. Another Ambush

The Boothill Boys swooped down to the island, eager to feast. "This is gonna be great!" cried the first one. "Finally we'll have the ghosts right in our straws!"

"AND that stupid rabbit!" added the other.

"Like killing two birds with one stone!"

"Technically four birds."

They arrived to find Brer Fox and Brer Bear painting the whitewash on a fence.

"Dis is pretty fun..." murmured Brer Bear.

"Yeah," agreed Brer Fox, "good thing we paid Brer Rabbit to let us do it!"

"What are you doing?!" gasped one of the vultures in disgust.

"We is paintin' de white wash on dis here fence!" Brer Fox happily replied.

Brer Bear held out a brush. "Wanna try?"

"Dey has got to pay Brer Rabbit first!" Brer Fox reminded him.

"IDIOTS! IDIOTS!" exploded one of the Boothill Boys. "Where are those critters now?!"

Brer Bear shrugged. "Dunno."

"Well, FIND THEM!" screeched the vulture. "We didn't get this crystal for nothing, you know!"

"Crystal?" repeated Brer Fox and Brer Bear. The Boothill Boys held up the shining green jewel.

"Tarnation, Brer Bear!" marveled Brer Fox. "How much do you supposes day would be wort'?"

"Gee, uh..."

"It'd be wort' a lot, I'll say dat!" Brer Fox eagerly reached for it, only have his hand slapped away by one of the Boothill Boys.

"Keep your paws off it!" snapped the bird. "This is going to help us finally get those ghosts."

"Yeah," said a high-pitched, nasal voice from under them, "we'll give 'em the 'Flying Aaaaahhhh!' Cat R. Waul always looooooved that one! Eee-hee-hee!"

Everyone looked down to see an eager Chula scampering around. One of the Boothill Boys picked him up. "We don't work with spiders," he sneered.

With a flick of the wrist (or, rather, the wing), they sent Chula skipping across the lake. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Slime-blattering sewage suckers!" squealed the angry spider.

"Across in four skips," smiled the other vulture. "I'm impressed."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ghosts and Brer Rabbit, meanwhile, were at one of the island's caves. Injun Joe's Cave, to be exact. Needless to say, it was pretty creepy at night.

"This...uh...this would be a great place to film," quivered Ezra.

"Hey," realized Phineas, "I think Ezra's scared."

"De bes' ghost in de world?" teased Brer Rabbit. "Afreard o' some dark cave?"

Gus laughed loudly. "I can't believe this!"

Ezra tried to build up his confidence. "I'm not scared! I'm brave! I'm tough! People should be afraid of me! After all, I'm the freakiest ghost in the mansion by far!"

Proudly, the ghost started to head in when they heard a deep groan coming from inside. "On the other hand," Ezra sqeaked, "I really don't trust the sounds coming from the cave's bowels."

"Hee hee...bowels," giggled Phineas.

Brer Rabbit was getting scared as well. "How bout we try de restaurant over dere? Away from de cave?"

The groans were getting closer. Gus grabbed the stick that they were still carrying around. "Gus will defend us!"

"Is he talking about the stick or referring to himself in third person?" Ezra asked Phineas.

"Maybe both."

A shadow was coming out of the cave! Gus raised the stick.

Out walked...

Goofy.

"GOOFY?" everyone cried in surprise.

"Howdy, fellers!" laughed the dippy dawg. "A-hyuk! I've been lost in there for three days!"

"Why didn't you ask one o' dem guests fo' help?" asked Brer Rabbit.

"They sorta didn't know it was me, 'cause it was so dark," shrugged Goofy. "I got hit with by a lotta screaming girls."

Ezra grinned. "Sounds kinky."

"Hey, why not have Goofy in our movie?" suggested Phineas.

Ezra's eyes lit up. "Now, THAT'S an idea!"

"Does we have to switch names again?" asked Brer Rabbit.

"Nah," snickered Ezra, "that was only for those dumb villains. They're probably still painting the stupid fence!"

Unbeknowst to them, the Boothill Boys were perched above the cave's entrance. One held the crystal in his claws. They essentially had one shot of making this, and they knew they couldn't mess it up.

"Can we at least get out of the cave?" Phineas was saying as they emerged from the cave.

The vultures snapped to attention! The second they saw the pudgy ghost exit, they dropped the crystal, the green jewel landing on his hat. Upon making contact, the crystal grew larger in size. Phineas was suddenly sucked inside!

"What the..." muttered a stunned Gus. He and Ezra touched it out of pure reflex and were sucked inside as well.

"This cave is gonna be the last thing you see!" cackled one of the Boothill Boys. They swooped down, only to quickly fly out of reach again when Brer Rabbit and Goofy jumped at them.

Goofy and Brer Rabbit tried in vain to catch the vultures. "You two!" cried Brer Rabbit. "You buzzards turn my frien's loose, ya'll hear me?"

"Run, Brer Rabbit!" encouraged Phineas. "Get help!"

Since the vultures were out of reach, Brer Rabbit and Goofy had no choice but to run for the shore. Once they were gone, the Boothill Boys were safe to land and began to roll the crystal into the cave.

"Let's find a raft!" Brer Rabbit told Goofy as they ran through the woods.

"Yeah!" nodded Goofy. "We can get Mickey and the rest back here in no time!"

But they weren't safe yet. Out of a tree sprang Brer Bear, planning to crush them into the ground. Brer Rabbit and Goofy swiftly dodged the attack and hopped into a raft (the same one they took to the island earlier) at the island's edge.

Goofy looked back into the woods. "Hurry! Some more critters are coming!"

Indeed, Brer Fox was gaining on them! He jumped over the fallen Brer Bear and had his arms full of rope, a sack, an axe, and firewood!

Brer Rabbit was having troubles, however. "I'se tryin', I'se tryin', but I ain't gettin' nowhere! How does you start dese rafts, anyhow?"

Goofy smacked a bunch of things, which seemed to start it.

"Keep wackin' dose buttons!" encouraged Brer Rabbit. "Dey's makin' us go faster!"

"A-hyuck!"

They started to whizz over the water. It looked like they were going to be home free! But Brer Fox wasn't finished with them. He lassoed the bottom of the raft...and was almost pulled along with them in a water-ski fashion, if it wasn't for Brer Bear grabbing him at the last minute.

"We're slowin' down!" cried Goofy. "Wonder why."

Brer Rabbit looked back at the island and made a terrifying discovery. "Dey got us! We gotta go faster!"

Grunting and groaning, Brer Bear managed to tie the rope to a tree and kept a good grip on it. The raft had been anchored.

Brer Fox grinned for a second, but then realized that capturing Brer Rabbit would still be a tricky task. With no other option, he climbed up onto the rope (which was stretched out as far as it could go at this point) and began to maneuver across tightrope-style. "I is not going to let dat rabbit get away dis time!"

Brer Rabbit began to panic now. He couldn't talk his way out of this one...but he could still manage to escape! He desperately turned to his companion. "Goofy, you always has full pockets! Is dere a pocketknife dere?"

Goofy began to empty his pockets as quickly as he could, but there was so much in there that it did take some time. But Brer Fox was approaching quickly!

"You has got to hurry!" urged Brer Rabbit. Brer Fox was almost there!

"Got 'em!" Goofy triumphantly pulled out his pocketknife.

Brer Rabbit grabbed it and began to saw away at the rope. Brer Fox was centimeters away from being able to grab him!

SNAP! Brer Rabbit cut through the rope! With nothing to hold it back, the raft, still going at full speed, took off through the sky. Goofy screamed out a classic "Goofy Holler," which could be heard all over the park.

From the shores of Tom Sawyer, Brer Bear was disappointed. They had come so close! And he really wanted to knock that rabbit's head clean off.

But just as Brer Bear turned away to trudge back to the cave and be berated by the Boothill Boys, he heard a noise coming from the water. He looked back to see...

Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit! Brer Fox happily swam ashore, holding on tightly to the squirming rabbit. Apparently, although Brer Rabbit had managed to cut the rope, he was still grabbed by Brer Fox at the last second, so while Goofy and the raft got away...he didn't.

"Turn me loose, Brer Fox!" cried Brer Rabbit. "Dis ain't fair!"

"Not dis time, Brer Rabbit! I caught you, and now you'se mine!" Brer Fox shoved the rabbit into a sack. "Dinnertime, Brer Bear."

"I'se starved! ...what are we eatin'?"


	5. Stalling

The Boothill Boys flew through the woods, gathering firewood. This was it! They had done it! They had captured the Hitchhiking Ghosts! They were so happy, they would even do stuff for Brer Fox and Brer Bear!

(To the tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch")

Boothill 1: _**You are villains, Boothill Boys** _

_**But that is all old news** _

_**For once, though, you are the winners** _

_**Yes it's true you didn't lose, Boothill Boys** _

_**And we'll give them a dinner invite that they cannot refuse!** _

Boothill 2: _**You are villains, Boothill Boys** _

_**But you have them in your claws** _

_**Since it's hard to cook a spirit** _

_**You might have to eat them raw, Boothill Boys** _

_**Time for a victory feast, so** _

_**Let's raise our straws!** _

Once in the cave in front of their captives, the Boothill Boys raised their straws and...nothing. They couldn't get the straws through the jewel!

"What the...this thing's solid!" exclaimed the first one. "Aw, we should have seen this coming!"

"Yeah, you really should have," agreed Ezra.

"We saw it miles away," added Phineas.

"Idiots," muttered Gus.

"Hey," cried the other Boothill Boy, "YOU don't have the right to talk! You're in a crystal!"

Phineas shrugged. "A pretty crystal."

"Kin we jes' eat Brer Rabbit an' get de ghosts thing over wid later?" complained Brer Bear.

"No you can not!" snapped the first Boothill Boy. "Without us, you would have never caught that rabbit! We're going to Leota to get a new crystal that'll sort this thing out! And when we're gone...no eating!"

With that, the vultures flew away.

"This is gonna be funny," Ezra whispered to his friends.

"What's funny?" Phineas whispered back.

"Just watch."

The second the Boothill Boys were gone Brer Bear rushed towards Brer Rabbit, gripping his club. "An' now I'se gonna knock yo' head clean off!"

Brer Fox frantically jumped in his way. "No, no, no! We gotta wait fo'...we gotta...Brer Bear!"

In desperation, Brer Fox whipped out some rope and the two tumbled around for a bit. When the dust cleared, the two were surprised to see that they had managed to tie themselves together.

"And Brer Rabbit gets to watch this every day?" complained Phineas.

Gus nodded. "Lucky guy."

* * *

Once again managing to sneak into the mansion, the Boothill Boys angrily swooped into Leota's seance room.

"Hey, Leota!" called one of them. "We've got a big problem with your stupid crystal!"

Leota's head smugly materialized. "Oh, do you, now?"

"We can't eat the Hitchhikers because they're in there and we're out here!" cried the second vulture.

"Oh," Leota said innocently, "what a shame that I didn't think ahead."

"I think you knew exactly what was going to happen!" hissed one of the Boothill Boys.

"The realms were hazy," replied Leota.

"Why do you mock us so?"

"You tried to eat my daughter," Leota glared at them.

"Well, try and try again!" The second Boothill Boy started sucking up Little Leota again, only to be swung at by Emily's axe. He dropped his straw.

"Why do I seem to taste so good to you?" cried Little Leota.

The first Boothill Boy motioned desperately towards his friend. "As you can see, he can't hold out. We need help!"

"I suppose it goes to the greater good," mused Leota.

"Or greater bad," Emily pointed out.

Leota had another crystal appear in front of them. "This BLUE crystal reverses the effect of the green one. When they touch, the green crystal with shatter...and the ghosts will be yours."

"Just get them out of here!" cried Little Leota. "The one with the straw creeps me out!"

"You've been a big help, Madame Leota!" smiled the second Boothill Boy. He was about to shake her hand, when he realized she didn't have one.

"Go," Leota said flatly. "Please."

"Oh," called Emily, "and watch out for the Suit of Armor. He's still in a bad mood."

The first vulture turned around nervously. "Uh...where might this Suit of Armor be?"

"We don't know," smiled Little Leota, "He just sort of vanished."

The vultures went pale. "Oh. Okay. Thanks..."

The Boothill Boys cautiously snuck back through the Mansion towards the door, afraid that the Armor would be around any corner. And yet, at the end, they had made it out fine.

Then they realized that he was waiting for them outside.

* * *

Despite their problems, the Boothill Boys lived to get back to their cave. They arrived just in time, because Brer Rabbit was in the process of tricking his enemies.

"Well, gee, boys, I'd LIKE to teach you de ancient Japanese art o' Jukido Jujitsu, but I can't if I'se all tied up!"

"Dat's right, he can't if he's tied up!" realized Brer Fox. "What we gon' do, Brer Bear?"

"Uh, we kin untie him..." mumbled Brer Bear.

The Boothill Boys gasped and quickly stopped him.

"What are you doing?" cried the first vulture. "He always uses that trick! Everyone knows that trick!"

"Well, gee," the second one imitated, "I'd like to BLAH BLAH BLAH, but I can't if I'm all tied up! It's the same thing every time!"

"An' yet it always works," smiled Brer Rabbit.

"Well, it's not working this time!" sneered the Boothill Boy. "We have THIS! The mighty BLUE crystal!"

"Well," said Phineas, "I like the color."

"How is that different from the stupid green one?" asked Gus.

"Oh, there's a big difference!" laughed the second vulture. He turned to his companion. "Man, I'm hungry. Hurry up and use it!"

Ezra held up his arms in protest. "What does it do? Ya can't just use some glowing emerald on us without telling us what it does!"

"You jerks," nodded Gus.

"Villains have no manners," sniffed Phineas.

"Let me do the talking," the first Boothill Boy whispered to his friend. "You ready the straws." He turned back to the ghosts. "Well, gentlemen, here's what's gonna happen. When the crystals touch, the green one will shatter. Then we'll eat you, they'll eat Brer Rabbit, and we're mostly all happy."

Phineas raised his hand. "Uh, we could always just...fly away?"

"Don't make yo' threats!" growled Brer Fox. "If you flies away, we eats Brer Rabbit on de spot!"

"That's pointless," replied Ezra. "If we DIDN'T move, you'd still kill Brer Rabbit."

At that moment, all three ghosts and the rabbit had an idea: Bluff and stall.

Ezra continued. "Besides, we couldn't care less, could we?"

"Not a bit," said Gus.

"We'll fly out of here faster than insert simile here!" smiled Phineas.

"Darn straight, dey will!" exclaimed Brer Rabbit happily.

"Do we have to go back to the Mansion?" moaned the second Boothill Boy.

"We're not going back there!" gasped the first one. "Between the Armor, the head, the bride, and the smaller version of the head who has a body, they're all out to get us!"

"Duh," said Gus.

The second vulture shoved his face against the crystal holding the ghosts. "Keep out of this, midget! I wanna suck you so bad!"

"You've gotta stop saying things like this," groaned the first one.

"Let's see what the other morons have to say," said Ezra.

Brer Bear looked up. "Who?"

Brer Fox smacked the bear on the head. "He means us! Now, I say dat we...dat we..." But he just couldn't think of anything.

"I think we should eat Brer Rabbit now," suggested Brer Bear. "Den we can plan on how de Boothill Boys eat de ghosts."

"Wow," admitted the first Boothill Boy, "that's actually a really good idea."

"...an'," continued Brer Bear, "I think we should knock his head clean off!"

"No mo' o' dat 'knock his head clean off' stuff!" snapped Brer Fox. "I'se sick o' hearin' 'bout dat! Sides, I don't wanna eat no mashed rabbit! I'se just gonna chop him in two wid my axe! It's just dat simple, I do declare! Yes it is!"

Brer Fox grabbed Brer Rabbit and raised his axe. Ezra and Gus gasped. Phineas tried to remember if he had seen Rachel Ray do this once.


	6. Not Done Yet

Suddenly, a shot rang out through the cave. Everyone turned to the cave's mouth to see...Captain Hook?!

"Drop the rabbit," commanded the captain. Brer Fox obeyed him.

"Captain Hook?!" Phineas was stunned. "What are you doing here?"

"My men and I were led here by a friend of yours," explained Hook.

On that note, in walked Goofy! "A-hyuck!"

Ezra narrowed his eyes. "Uh, Goofy, we appreciate the help, but couldn't you have gotten some non-pirates? I mean, you know how I feel about pirates!"

"The world knows how you feel about pirates," muttered Gus.

"Sorry, fellers," shrugged Goofy, "but I ended up crashing right into Fantasyland, and they were all could get on short notice."

"I guess it beats de Hunder'd Acre Woods," said Brer Rabbit.

At that moment, Tigger bounced in, dressed in pirate garb. "Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yo ho, yo ho! A pirate's life for me!"

"This is embarrassing," sighed Gus.

"Don't matter!" cheered Brer Rabbit. "We'se saved!"

"Now, get up against the wall," Hook ordered the villains.

As Hook held the nasty critters up, he was joined by several of his pirates, each one holding a gun of their own.

"Look!" cried Phineas. "It's Hook's favorite crewmates! There's Smee, Mullins, Billy Jukes, Turk, Black Murphy, and Skylights!"

Ezra narrowed his eyes. "You actually know their names?"

"Pathetic," agreed Gus.

"Now, Mister Hook," said Goofy, "if you could just untie Brer Rabbit, we'll be outta here in a sec'."

"I'm afraid I can't, my dear Goofy," Hook smiled politely. "You see, we have the perfect ingredients for a meal right here. Rabbit, fox, bear, vultures, and even a bit of tiger."

"Uh, that's Tigger...T-I-Double-Guh-Err..."

"Just get against the wall!" shouted Hook.

Tigger joined the villains. "I knew I shoulda been a cowboy."

The Hitchhikers gasped again. They were worse off than before! And Phineas was POSITIVE he had seen Rachel Ray do this once.

"Here, Smee, you can take the rabbit." Hook calmly handed Smee the still-tied up Brer Rabbit.

"Thank you, Cap'n!" smiled Smee. "I always did love rabbits."

"Wonderful," nodded Hook.

Brer Fox was stunned. "Buh--But ya can't do this, ya'll here! It ain't decent-like!"

"It goes strictly against the anamorphic animal code!" exclaimed the first Boothill Boy.

"The what?" said Hook.

"The code!" repeated the vulture. "It's perfectly fine for us anamorphic animals to eat OTHER anamorphic animals, but it's completely unnatural if a human ate us!"

"Although us eating humans is a hazy area," added the second one.

"And we ghosts are cartoonist enough, so it's allowed that the vultures eat us," called Ezra.

Gus smiled slightly. "Even though they have no chance of doing it."

"Shut up!" shouted the Boothill Boys.

Exasperated, Hook fired another shot at the ceiling. "Shut up, all of you! We're pirates! We don't follow codes, we break them!"

"But what about the PIRATE code, Cap'n?" Smee reminded him.

"Can I ask for a Parley?" squeaked Phineas.

"I cannot believe you just uttered those words!" moaned Ezra. "Am I speaking to Phineas Queeg or Elizabeth Swan?"

"It's for our friend!" insisted Phineas.

"So be it," sighed Hook. "What do you wish to ask?"

Phineas thought for a moment. "Um...why aren't you eating Goofy?"

"He does not appear to be very...appetizing."

Goofy looked a little hurt. "Gwarsh."

"Okay," said Phineas, "second question. Can you, uh, let us go?"

"Request denied," said Hook. "Shoot our dinner, men."

"Wait!" cried Goofy.

Hook angrily whirled around. "What is it, now?!"

"You have to go through me if you wanna eat muh friends!"

"Oh, go away," said Hook. "You're embarrassing yourself."

Goofy knew they were right. With a sigh, he turned to leave. On the way out, he kicked a stone, sending it bouncing towards the trapped ghosts. But as it got closer, the ghosts could see that it wasn't just any stone...it was the blue crystal!

Closer...closer...it just managed to touch their prison, which was enough! The crystal trapping the ghosts shattered, and the Hitchhikers were free!

"Freedom!" breathed Phineas.

"ATTACK!" shouted Ezra.

The ghosts were soon in action! They quickly stole three swords and began to fight with the pirates, making sure they couldn't get at their friends.

"I feel like Mary Martin!" sang Ezra.

"I feel like Sandy Duncan!" said Phineas.

Gus glared at him. "What are you, gay?"

"Don't let a couple of ghosts stop you, men!" yelled Hook. Just then, Ezra jabbed him in the rear, sending him flying in the air.

"Send my regards to Sparrow!" called Ezra.

Gus grabbed a gun and started shooting at Smee's feet. "Dance for me!"

Smee hopped around, frantically trying to avoid the bullets.

Phineas paused his fighting to glance over at Smee. "I'd say he ranks between Rockettes and Golden Horseshoe Revue."

"Don't just stand there, men!" screamed Hook (who had just fallen to the ground after being jabbed by Ezra). "SHOOT THEM!"

"Everyone knows you can't shoot a ghost!" laughed Ezra.

Hook stared daggers at him. "Fine, then shoot their friends!"

"Uh-oh," Ezra's eyes widened.

Ezra grabbed Brer Rabbit and Goofy, Gus grabbed Brer Fox and the Boothill Boys, and Phineas grabbed Brer Bear and Tigger. Around and around the cave they flew, trying to avoid the pirates' gunfire.

"Dis way, dis way, dis way!" cried Brer Fox. "No, no, no, DAT WAY!"

It seemed like there were pirates shooting from every side! Which there probably were.

"At this point," said Phineas, "I should make a Public Service Announcement that guns are not toys! Use some common sense!"

Gus noticed that one of the Boothill Boys had stuck his straw into his head. "You just made a mistake, buddy," growled the ghost. He tossed the vulture to the pirates. "Keep this one!"

"Poor guy," murmured the other Boothill Boy as he watched his partner flapping around the bewildered pirates. "He just couldn't control himself."

"Oh no!" cried Phineas, pointing to the mouth of the cave. "Turk and Black Murphy are trapping us!"

Indeed, Turk (a large Turkish pirate) and Black Murphy (an even larger pirate) were rolling a boulder in front of the cave opening.

"I still can't get over the fact that you know their names," said Gus.

"Looks like a job for a tail made of spring!" cried Tigger.

Jumping, or rather, bouncing into action, Tigger bounced on both the pirates' heads, knocking them backwards. "Everybody out!" he called.

"We were saved by a stuffed animal," said Ezra. "What a night."

As they were escaping, Bill Jukes (the smallest of the pirates) managed to crawl after them and grabbed Tigger by his tail. Gus smacked him hard with his stick, making the pirate let go. "Hands off the Tigger!"

Managing to hold the pirates off with a few swords, the ghosts helped Brer Rabbit, Tigger, and Goofy out, but stopped Brer Fox, Brer Bear, and the Boothill Boys.

"Not so fast," Ezra told them. "You think that you can get away with trying to eat us?"

"But...but we're pals now!" one of the Boothill Boys grinned weakly.

Brer Fox frantically nodded. "Bes' frien's! You h'ain't gonna done leave us wid dem pirates?!"

Not being held back anymore, the four villains were tackled by the pirates.

"They out of bullets?" asked Ezra.

"Yeah," said Brer Bear.

"Then we're gonna done leave you with them pirates!" snapped Ezra.

Ezra, Gus, and Phineas, holding their friends, began to fly to safety.

"Gwarsh," said Goofy, "are you really gonna leave them folks to fight to the death?"

"I don't think I'm gonna tell Piglet about this," said Tigger.

Ezra sighed in annoyance. "No, we're not really gonna leave them! Phineas, you still got that tear gas?"

Phineas rummaged through his bag. "I keep it right by my pepper spray."

He pulled out a canister of tear gas. Ezra tossed it into the mouth of the cave. Uncontrollable sobs were heard coming from the inside.

"Too pathetic," said Ezra. He turned back to Phineas. "Got any knockout gas on you?"

"I know I do," said Gus.

Ezra threw that in, as well. "We'll leave them for the cast members to drag out in the morning."

"Wow," cried Brer Rabbit, "dat was some adventure!"

"I wish our movie came out, though," said Phineas.

Ezra grinned. "What are you talking about? It did!"

"HUH?" No one understood.

Ezra pulled out the camera from under his hat (where it had somehow fit). "I was filming the whole time!"

Everyone cheered! What a night!

Ezra: _**If there's one thing I love most** _

_**It'd have to be adventure** _

Phineas: _**That and us go hand in hand** _

Gus: _**Like old people and dentures** _

Brer Rabbit: _**And what a night** _

Goofy: _**And what a night** _

Tigger: _**And what a night** _

Hitchhiking Ghosts: _**And what a night** _

All: _**A great adventure has been had** _

_**Tonight, tonight, tonight, that's right** _

_**All right!** _

"Oh no," Gus suddenly said. With a frown, he held up the stick that he had carried throughout his adventures. But now...it was breaking in half!

"Poor Gus the Stick," said Phineas. "Bill Jukes's head was too much for it."

Brer Rabbit bowed his head. "Died a hero."

"I'll never forget it," agreed Goofy.

Gus's eyes filled with tears. "I'll find a nice patch to bury it in...get it a headstone...maybe its ghost will come visit me in the Mansion...I can't believe it's really gone!"

"Can we use it to play Poohsticks?" asked Tigger.

Gus immediately brightened up. "Sure."

A tiny bit later, they sat on a bridge and watch the two stick halves pass under it.

"Mine was the bigger one!" cried Tigger. "Mine's first!"

"This sucks," said Gus.


	7. Epilogue

After dropping Brer Rabbit, Tigger, and Goofy off at their respective homes, the Hitchhiking Ghosts raced off to the Mansion and uploaded their video on Youtube (using a computer in the special Cast Member's break room). They had made it! The Internet!

Their movie got one hit. Ever. And the person who clicked it may have been drunk, for all anyone knew.

That's how it goes in the bustling world of Youtube, where things are uploaded by the second. It's all-too easy to get lost in the crowd if you're not lucky like Numa Numa Guy, or Obama Girl.

And yet, the ghosts didn't care. Their movie was a hit with the people that really mattered: It was a hit with everyone at the Mansion.

For many nights after the adventure (and many more to come), all 999 ghosts, all the Cast Members, everyone from Splash Mountain, and scattered others from the parks would gather outside the Mansion and watch a projection of _The Brer Witch Project_ , as the movie came to be called. Madame Leota especially enjoyed it, for some reason.

All in all, everyone agreed that it was a success.

* * *

And as for Chula...well, at this point, you've probably forgotten he was in the story.

But in case you WERE wondering, after everyone's favorite spider had been thrown off the island, he decided to tackle something bigger.

Namely, he tied up Mickey Mouse in Cinderella's Castle.

"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Mickey, still caught in the web. "What's the point of this?"

Chula shrugged. "Gotta end it on something funny."

Mickey thought about this and nodded. "Good point. That's all, folks!...Don't tell anyone, but I've always wanted to say that."

* * *

That about ends the story. Stay tuned for one starring Chula himself! I really hope we don't all grow to hate him. Thanks for reading!


End file.
